What am I thinking, raising a child this late in life? Maybe I AM too old to raise a young child? I’ll be the oldest mom at the playground. I won’t be able to keep up with him at the park. People will think I’m his grandmother.
The first time I heard the term “advanced maternal age” was when I was in the doctor’s office to discuss my pregnancy. I was 43 at the time and my doctor, who was a man, said that women who are 35 and over are at significant risk of having a baby with a chromosomal defect: a 1 in 3 chance in fact.
It wasn’t until I was at the hospital for an amniocentesis that a nurse, who was very kind. said to me, “there is also a 2 in 3 chance your baby will be healthy and normal”. I felt comforted by her words and then immediately I was pissed off.
If my doctor were near by I seriously would have considered kicking him in the junk but being a bit of a curmudgeon I should have expected no less from him. Most doctors in my experience are so focused on negative outcomes that they forget to mention the positive. I’m not saying I don’t need to know that information. But what I am saying is that based on the fact I am pregnant right now, perhaps starting with a positive message would be better.
Isn’t 43 the new 33?
Aren’t we generally healthier these days? Don’t we have better medical support in Canada? Weren’t women having babies into their late 40’s back in the ‘on the farm’ days?
If I had to do it over, perhaps I would have started younger if only because it might be nice to have another rug rat around. We’re passed that stage though as clearly we’re too tired already. I suppose that is one big drawback to being an older parent. But I know that if were younger it would probably not have been any different considering I’ve been dealing with sleep issues for 10 years.
I do take comfort in the idea that as an older parent I am more confident in my ability to handle what comes my way. And even though it’s been tough sometimes I wouldn’t change a thing. I have a ton of experience to draw on and understand my wicked ways better. I can pass on the sensibilities I’ve earned the hard way and help him through the tough times with more ease to raise an ethical, kind and loving boy. I’m not sure if I could have done that in my 20’s or even 30’s as I was far too immature.
I’m not the only one with crinkles
I’ve noticed more and more women having children later in their lives, I just don’t know a lot of them personally. I’m sure I’ll meet some of them soon though as I suspect when we do enter the big school world, I won’t be the only mom with greying hair and crinkles around her eyes.
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I’m out in Surrey but willing to travel anywhere. 🙂 Currently not working until at least March due to a layoff so most days are free especially once the New Year rolls around.
Sorry for the delay in responding. Sick toddler. Fingers crossed the rest of us don’t get it! That would be no fun for Christmas!
Ack I spelled your name wrong. Maryanne:)
I don’t know. Maybe we should start one:) where do you live Marianne?
Yes true enough. My sis had her kids early and I really don’t think I could have done that. I think I’m a late bloomer too so it males sense it took me this long to figure out.
BTW where are the older mom baby/toddler groups?
The weirdest part is being significantly older in any baby group at the ripe old age of 38. Yes I probably would be less tired if I was 28 but now I am more confident in my place in life and WAY less stressed than I was in my 20’s.
That’s good to hear Hannah (I think) 🙂 And the photographer was very very good. Not too much photoshopping I think lol.
Maybe we should hang out Sheryl:) Then we can compare crinkles:) Just kidding really as I’d rather focus on what’s good rather than that anyday. Thanks for commenting.
I’m 46 and had my kids at 39, 42 and 43…and I guess those odds are right, because I have two healthy and “normal” children and one healthy middle kid with Down syndrome. I am ridiculously tired, and work FT plus volunteer and still get the oldest to soccer…but glad I’m older and have a few more tricks up my sleeve. No desire to join the Pinterest set, and that frees up a lot of time right there! But agreed, I often arrive at birthday parties and realize I’m the oldest mom there…
Jackie’s right – I’m 27 and tired, too! I have no idea how people have more than one!!
There are pros and cons to every choice in life.
I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around your “advanced maternal age”… I’d never have guessed from your picture! You’re not “old”, just experienced.
I’m an older Mom, too. I had my boys just three months shy if being 40 & 42. And I am the oldest mom in their classes. I also wish we’d started a little earlier but it wasn’t happening so it is what it is. Am I tired? You bet. But I think the moms ten years younger than me are too. I’m happy we had our family since I know just how lucky we were to have it happen. Sadly even though we really are you get than past generations at the same age, nature still kicks us in the reproductive system after 40.