Now that we’re all GDPR compliant, let’s get to it! It’s time to tell you about all the things.

Oh. You didn’t receive the last email that mentions the horror which will be inflicted upon me should you not update your settings?

Crud. Please click here to get that sorted, quick like! Whew! Thanks friend.

The penalty for not abiding by this new law is pretty brutal. I think it’s something about sending me away to a deserted island or another equally horrifying consequence like being forced to play solitaire with two cards short of a deck.

Can you imagine?

An island with no wifi or whisper of noise except the lapping of the waves on white sand? Alone without the chance of running into one other person? No sweet little darlings running amok building sandcastles, skin encrusted with sunscreen and salt water, laughing, splashing in sparkling blue waters? A deck of cards that will never be whole again?

All. Alone on a deserted island? Is there even such a place?

Wait a minute…

What the HELL is wrong with this picture?  I’m afraid of being tortured like this? Bring. It. On.

DON’T CONSENT!! DON’T CONSENT!!

I WANT TO GO THEEEERREEE! Please please, before some other tired moms get there first!

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(just kidding, friend) There is no such thing as fairy tales.

SOB…

Now that I have your consent we’ll talk soon.