UPDATE: My son is now seven years old and I’ve just played the recording to him. He laughed his ass off! Like mother like son. Check it out at the bottom of this post.
Before I was a mom I thought that parents who let their children curse were, well, lazy. I thought that those parents were tired of correcting their kids and that somehow a child that swears has no discipline.
Now that I’m a parent myself, I see things a little differently. And now that my son is approaching three years old, it’s amazing to hear the stuff that comes out of his mouth. I don’t want to censor him. I want to enjoy listening to him experiment with language. And I want to laugh my ass off, because well, that’s why I became a parent. Didn’t you?
The First Cursing Incident
The other day I was in the kitchen and OLM (Our Little Monkey) was busy in the hallway taking his Easter eggs in and out of his basket. Yes, Easter is still being celebrated at my house. And yes, he’s still wanting us to hide them so he can find them. Those eggs mean the world to him right now.
Anyway, he dropped the eggs (they were plastic) on the floor and muttered under his breath,
Oh fuck.
I looked at the Serious One (my Partner) and he said quietly,
Did he just say what I thought I heard him say?
Yup, I mouthed.
I started to laugh my ass off, silently. Do you know how hard that is? I wanted so bad to bust a gut but, I didn’t want OLM to notice.
I thought to myself, ‘Now, where did he get that from?’ Thoughts of blaming someone else invaded my mind for a half second. Then I realized… I was the culprit.
And I laughed harder.
Cursing Relieves Stress: Try This At Home
When I curse it’s my way of releasing stress. I don’t curse at people, except maybe in my car, so no one, apparently expect eagle ears OLM, can hear me.
I don’t think I’m hurting anyone when I swear. I don’t call people names or describe their behaviour (very often) with terms like fucking idiot, asshat, bastard and the like. I could, because clearly I am capable, but I don’t.
When I or anyone else for that matter is angry, and I’m pretty sure this is a proven scientific fact, you just can’t take a person seriously when they say,
Fiddlesticks, or Dang nash it, that hurt!
It’s waaaay better to use words that have more punch, am I right?
Words Have Power
There are a few words that are best not said by anyone no matter what. Words have incredible power depending on who says them and how they say them. That is why it is important to know your audience. I would never tell OLM that it is ok to swear at school. I would never tell him that it is ok to describe someone with such nasty descriptives as asswipe, c*unt, n**ger, motherf*cker, bitch and the like. Most of these words serve no purpose but to express hatred.
This is the list of words I think are acceptable when you’re pissed off and feel like you want to fucking scream.
- pissed
- pissed off
- damn
- dammit
- ass
- asshat
- shit
- frick
- fuck
- hell
Don’t Deny Your Kids: Let Them Curse
The more you deny kids something the more they want to do whatever it is you don’t want them to do. Taking the power away from curse words and allowing our kids to use them helps them become more comfortable with their emotions.
It is, however, a good idea to help them learn a more sophisticated vocabulary so they don’t have to rely on ‘fuck’ to describe everything that is fucking great or fucking awesome etc. You want them to sound intelligent. After all, they are YOUR kids.
UPDATE: Rumour has it now that people who swear are totally smart. Huh…maybe I am smarter than I think.
Don’t Hate Me Because I Curse
It is important that my son treats people with respect. It’s important that he knows that some people will never accept cursing as normal and that he needs to know how to navigate around them. Unfortunately most people will judge him based on the language he chooses to use around them.
He will learn from us that it is never ok to deal with anger by cursing people out. He’s learning that whenever there’s conflict, there’re always two sides to a story. I want my son to understand his role in difficult situations and to never ‘resolve’ them with foul language and hate. It is NEVER ok to blindly hate anyone. It just shows a lack of information and ignorant thinking. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
The Second Cursing Incident
On a lighter note and really that was the point of this post, I happen to think it’s fucking funny when my kid swears but I don’t want him to see me laughing at him. He is exploring his language and I don’t want him to be afraid to use it, or to ask me what words mean or to be embarrassed as he learns how it works.
UPDATE: He sees me laugh about it now. All. The. Times…they are a changin’.
Besides, if I didn’t think it was so funny I would never have thought to record him cursing in the car while I was stopped at a traffic light. And ask him to do it again, as you’ll hear when you listen to the recording.
Listen to his sweet little potty mouth for yourself. Just make sure your kids aren’t around if you don’t want them repeating it. Just sayin’.
Absolutely. no point in shielding them from this, there are bigger and more important issues coming over the horizon! Like bullying and girls! Yikes..
I have a trucking sailor mouth at the best of times so it’s not uncommon to hear the odd foul word come out of my kids mouths too.
I think it’s important to teach kids about context and when it’s ok and not ok to use certain words/language. I mean lets be real, if they’re not learning it from you, they’re going to be learning it from the kids at school/daycare anyways!
Thanks for thinking the best of me Daphne but I didn’t correct him. I wanted him to say it again! Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you that.
That audio clip was fantastic. I especially like how he changed it from fuck to heck when you called him on it. Excellent parenting you two. xo
A trooper he is. And so much like his daddy.
Thanks for your comment. That’s a pretty funny word you let her use. I’ll have to teach my kid that one.
my ex and I were both Marines, and at one point I had to have a discussion with our then 3y/o daughter that some words were only for grown ups but she could use ” heckofasonofapig”. it was pretty funny. Also, for the laughing, I always explained it as I wasn’t laughing at them, just that they were so cute ( or smart) it made me happy.
I’m so proud. That’s my boy sayin’ WTF. Ya see folks, that’s how phonics can benefit your child as well. C’mon give it a try. Your child will be cursing like a trooper in no time.
Yup!!
Friggin’ funny!!